Saturday, August 8, 2015

Cautiously Optimistic

I decided to make a separate post to keep up with my right leg/sacroiliac joint pain saga.

Yesterday I got an injection into the right SI joint itself. Well, not before first passing out while getting an IV started. I was so embarrassed. I've passed out before from needles but it has been over ten years since the last time.

The doctor said he was able to really fill up the joint and that it often isn't an easy thing to do, but it went really well in my case. I have so little pain from the injection itself this time! Usually I'm in massive pain for three days, but today I'm in much less pain than I have been and my leg weakness is drastically improved. I'm hoping the relief lasts for awhile. I could get used to being able to walk & hike again!

I got all my health records forwarded to the pain doctor and I see them next week. I'm nervous but my last call to them did make me feel a little better. I was trying to reschedule due to my new job but there was nothing close enough to move me to. During the call though, the receptionist asked if I would see a specific provider. It was the one that has made me cry the two times I've seen them. I told them absolutely not and that I have no problem with the other providers I've seen, just not this specific one. He actually said, "You're not the first to say that."

I feel SO much better knowing I'm not the only one that this provider has not gotten along with. No one should be made to feel like a drug addict or that their pain is insignificant. Chronic pain is so hard to live with and no one's pain is the same. 

So many more hikes to look forward to!

The Fog Has Lifted

Throughout all the ups and downs I have tried to stay positive. Katy Perry's song, Firework, was one of the songs I would put on to help me keep my head up. Especially these lyrics: 

Maybe a reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow
And when it's time you'll know

You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July

I hadn't even realized how depressed and anxious I had been ever since leaving Wisconsin in 2007. I loved my job there. I worked with people I liked, doing a job I liked, it was in the same town I lived in, etc. Just a perfect scenario...until my ex upset his father (who owned the house we were living in) and we ended up having to move back to Washington State. I had totaled my car in March 2007 and now in June that same year I was having to resign from a job I loved. It was devastating.

I've gotten work over the years but nothing I actually liked. I looked for jobs like the one in Wisconsin, but I didn't have quite enough experience to even get looked at for anything. I pretty much gave up and decided I would have to do school in order to get into a field I could enjoy working in long term. That was until last week...

Last Wednesday I went to an employment agency to fill out paperwork and do a preliminary interview with them to find some work. The representative was saying how she wished I had come in the day prior because they had a job that was perfect for me, but it had already been filled. Oh well, there were other jobs in the area I was also interested in, so I figured that I may get an interview somewhere the next week.

About four hours after my interview the employment agency was calling and texting me that the job I was perfect for was available again! It started the next day BUT it was only part time and temporary. I almost didn't take it for those reasons. I really needed something full time. I agreed to take it because we need the money and I like being helpful.

Once there, I started talking to the person in charge about my previous experience. Then I find out from him that they have been needing someone to do quotes and some sales and asked if I was interested in a full time position. Uhm...YES!!! I wasn't quite that animated but I think my excitement probably showed.

Me after my first day!

After being there a few days and knowing I for sure have a full time job I realized that I've had a tightness in my chest that is now gone! I think I was in denial about how awful I have felt for the last 8 years. Bitterness, anger, depression... It feels like I had been in a dark, suffocating fog that I only realized was there once it was gone.