Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Bye Felicia

Sometimes people remove themselves from your life and then you realize you aren't missing much. This happened recently with me. It is hard for me to make friends and it has been really hard since splitting up with my husband four years ago. A lot of "our" friends became his friends only. I accepted this because if they wanted to believe his trash talk then I was better off without them.

So, I tried making friends. I found Facebook groups and started helping manage one of them with some other women. We became friends. There have been hair flips and drama galore but some of us have stayed true friends.

I have never been much of a social person but I figured why not invite people over for some get togethers and for kids parties. One person in particular just kept blowing me off time after time. I came to her events and whatnot, but she never showed for mine. It was really insulting. I got really upset a couple months ago after it happening for around the fifth or sixth time and decided not to invite anyone over for awhile.

I'm not one to beat around the bush or mince words. I'm also not entirely tactful. I will admit this. I also tell everyone this and ask them to let me know if I'm coming across harshly.

Recently this girl that always stood me up got a house bought for her by her parents. Cool. My in-laws bought me a house several years ago so I know all the strings that come attached with a deal like that. I wasn't openly voicing my opinion of the situation because it wasn't a nice one. In my eyes I had seen this couple not do anything to help themselves get their own place. In the two years of not paying rent they maybe, possibly could have paid on some old bills and gotten themselves in a position to where they could rent. I don't know full details but I know enough... She mistook my annoyance for jealousy.

So when I brought up (in a small group chat of four of us) that I was hurt because of people blowing me off she started apologizing. I wasn't referring to just her but apparently she felt guilty enough to apologize. Then she gets all hurt by my expressing my feelings, removes me from her friends list AND blocks me. Total overreaction...

Then my fiance (who was still friends with her) tells me he saw a status about the whole friendship ending and that her and at least one of her friends were talking about how I was jealous. Nope. Not jealous. I was sick of feeling like I was there to pad her guest and friend list. I don't let people in easily and she totally took my friendship for granted. Then when I'm not totally happy that she sat around on her ass and then complained about her situation, she unfriends me? She needs to take a look in the mirror and figure out why she got so angry with me because I only said what everyone else who knows the whole story is thinking.

As far as jealously in general goes... I do see things I want. I also know what I have to do to achieve it. If I haven't done the work then I am not going to be jealous. I know there are ups and downs with any situation. I already know my life and how to manage it. I don't envy other people cause who knows what happens behind closed doors. I've dealt with my demons and bad karma that I have brought on myself and I like where I'm at. And I can proudly say that I've gotten myself here. All the way from being homeless with nothing to having a home and owning my own car. It may not be much, but I can be proud of it.